Published: July 27, 2025 at 01:00 AM

Tags: faith, struggle, preparation, gospel

Tomorrow is the Lord’s Day. Am I ready for worship, for praise, for remembering Him? Yes. But have I done enough this week: enough study, enough prayer, enough giving of thanks to God? No. Not even close.

He asks so little, and I still manage to give even less.

I’m behind on just about everything: the regular Bible study readings for our hall, the yearly reading plan Timmy and I developed before he passed, and the writing I keep telling myself I’ll do, devotional thoughts, Gospel messages, articles. It’s all fallen behind. And now, on top of that, I’ve been asked to speak in the Gospel meeting next week.

Technically, I was supposed to speak this week, but family events, then work, distracted me, and I forgot to reply. Someone else was slotted in, and I got bumped to next week. Maybe that’s for the better. Maybe it was the Lord’s timing.

Oddly enough, this week’s Bible study spoke right to that very feeling. We looked at the end of 1 Peter 4: about using the gifts God has given, about speaking as the oracles of God, and serving with the strength He provides. That it’s not really us speaking, but Him speaking through us. That’s a comfort, at least in theory. But I won’t lie, my mind still fights the ease of that truth. Mental habits, insecurities, they don’t fade quickly.

My last few Gospel messages have been pointed, focused on hell, the lake of fire, and the urgency of choosing Christ now. Lately I’ve been stewing on whether to share a message that begins with my testimony. It’s not an easy one to tell, it starts from a place of tragedy, but that’s what brought me to Christ. And that urgency I speak about, it’s not just theological to me. It’s personal. I want my friends, my family, everyone, to be saved. To know the peace that I’ve come to know. To be secure in eternity, not just drifting through life hoping for the best.

I’ve been talking with someone lately, an acquaintance who might better be called a friend now. They’ve been struggling too, in their own way. We’ve been tossing around the idea of reading Pilgrim’s Progress together. Maybe it’ll help us both find some clarity, a bit of footing again.

Fittingly, my religious bookshelf is just as cluttered as my spiritual thoughts lately. It’s time to clean them both up.

This post is short, and honestly, mostly just to admit where I’m at. I know some struggle more than me, and others less, but if putting this out there helps someone feel less alone in their faltering, then it’s worth it.

I pray the way ahead becomes clearer. I pray I walk more closely with the Lord, not just saying I will but doing it. I know He gives trials to strengthen us, and while I don’t invite them, I understand why they come.

Till later… (Really should come up with a proper sign-off one of these days)